


Just Tell Me I Am Yours

by ChillieBean



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Ficlet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sleepy confessions, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 00:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillieBean/pseuds/ChillieBean
Summary: “I remember way back when…” Jesse starts, whispering. “You’d just joined Overwatch. Not many of us knew your history. Those of us that were there did… but the rest of ‘em…” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Look at me, ramblin’ when you’re asleep. But I need to get this off my chest, and for whatever damned reason, I can only find the words when I’m not lookin’ you in the eye.”





	Just Tell Me I Am Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my McHanzo song: [Song #3 by Stone Sour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K73-hmaHPHY)
> 
> And a massive shout out to the amazing Magisey for soothing my poor anxious soul ❤❤❤

Jesse huffs, rolling over  _ again _ . Feeling like a damned rotisserie, he pulls his head up, looking at the softly glowing holographic display on Hanzo’s desk; the time reading 12:04am.

“Fuck,” he sighs, rolling onto his back. He runs his fingers through his hair, letting his hand fall behind his head as he stares at the back of Hanzo’s. Jesse wonders if he should just leave, like every other time they do this, but tonight Hanzo fell right to sleep; and the thought of leaving the man to wake up in an empty bed just rubs him the wrong way.

It was to be expected, to be honest. Hanzo had just come back from a mission, looked absolutely dead to the world the moment the debrief was done. He still pushed for sex but when Jesse insisted he get some sleep instead, Hanzo went off. 

It was a bit uncharacteristic given his recent behaviour of all jokes and smiles. He hadn’t seen Hanzo that angry in a damn long time, and over sex? Jesse pointed it out, and it stopped Hanzo dead in his tracks. Hanzo apologised and Jesse drummed it down to exhaustion, walked Hanzo down to his quarters and an invitation inside turned into sex anyway and honestly, Jesse wasn’t gonna turn it down. Hanzo had been gone for nearly two weeks; he was practically dying for his touch. 

Normally Jesse is one of those folks who can fuck someone and fall straight to sleep; and right now he’s thoroughly jealous of Hanzo. But tonight, keeping him awake are swirling thoughts of what  _ this _ is, this casual fling which for Jesse has become more than just a friends with benefits arrangement.

Going into this, the agreement was: No feelings. No emotions. Just sex.

And well… Jesse’s developed feelings for Hanzo. Has had them for a while now and has kept them bottled up for too damn long, feeling like he’s a point where the pressure is too much and he’s about to explode. 

Every time he thinks he can tell Hanzo how he feels, he just backs the fuck out, not wanting to ruin  _ this _ . He can’t lose Hanzo. Like yeah, he’s friends with the other agents, considers them family, but losing Hanzo because he opened his damn mouth and brought feelings into this... it would break him.

This is more than casual sex, though. He considers Hanzo his best friend, and while Jesse’s sure the others would go on a murderous rampage if anything were to happen to him, he imagines Hanzo stopping at  _ nothing _ until he was avenged. 

Jesse smiles, rolling onto his side. He needs to tell Hanzo how he feels. The words have been rattling around in his mind for the hour and a half he should’ve been sleeping, and maybe saying them to Hanzo without him listening would put his mind at ease; at least enough that he can go to sleep and actually talk to Hanzo about it in the morning.

“I remember way back when…” Jesse starts, whispering. “You’d just joined Overwatch. Not many of us knew your history. Those of us that were there did… but the rest of ‘em…” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Look at me, ramblin’ when you’re asleep. But I need to get this off my chest, and for whatever damned reason, I can only find the words when I’m not lookin’ you in the eye.” 

Jesse takes a deep breath, snuggling closer and slotting his body perfectly against Hanzo’s. He drapes his arm over Hanzo’s waist, finding his hand and holding it.  “Before then, when Genji told me he was seekin’ you out, I had his back one hundred percent. You didn’t wrong me, and if Genji wanted to rebuild a relationship with you, I sure as shit wasn’t gonna get in the way of that.” Jesse closes his eyes, brining his voice down lower, barely a whisper as he adds, “Didn’t mean I liked it.”

Jesse’s nose brushes along the nape of Hanzo’s neck; the short hairs of his undercut tickles his forehead.  “So you show up, and you weren’t what I expected. I guess most of what we knew about you was from intelligence gathering and Genji’s side of the story. But you weren’t angry. You weren’t closed off. You never said it and neither did Genji, but I knew... you were only here for him. A means to reconcile, redeem what you had lost.”

Closing his eyes and swallowing the lump in his throat, Jesse takes a moment to collect his thoughts. He might be saying this to an asleep Hanzo, but it doesn’t mean he’s not nervous as all hell. 

“So it wasn’t long before the friendship we’d built grew into something more. Everytime you’d enter a room, take a step towards me... you’d take my breath away. So I would approach you, keep you close and keep my little secret safe with me.”

Jesse strokes his thumb against Hanzo’s hand. “I used to be reckless. Hell, I still am. I’d never really been in love with someone. Had no intentions to  _ ever  _ fall in love with someone, even though a small part of me wanted it. Honestly though, who would love me, for all the things I’ve done in my life.” He frowns. “Well, there were a few; one night stands which turned into something a little more, but they didn’t love me. They didn’t even try.”

Pausing again to gather his thoughts, Jesse kisses Hanzo’s head. “Back then, I never understood how much I could take. I was at the end of my tether and didn’t realise. Joinin’ Overwatch again, I felt the worst was over. No more nights in crappy pay-by-the-hour motels fucking someone just to feel something. The recall saved me from that hell, gave me a family – gave me  _ my  _ family back.

“Which brings me back to you. Those early days, I saw how hard you tried when figuring things out with Genji. Between the both of you though, I swear I lost a good few years of my life,” Jesse chuckles. “Then, when you first came back to the base with your new look, I knew that things were good between you and Genji again. When I first saw your face, I  _ knew _ the worst was over. Not only that, but those vast illusions, those dreams come true I thought I’d never experience… they went out the window. I’d found you, and I knew I had to do something. I’d developed a little crush and well, seein’ you with your hair like it is now gave me the push I needed. So I took that step towards you. I took you in my hands. I crossed that line and I have zero regrets for it.”

Jesse closes his eyes, softly resting his forehead against the back of Hanzo’s head. “I know you’re still workin’ some stuff out. I know it wasn’t your intention to snap at me tonight. At this point, it doesn’t really matter what you do or say, I’m never goin’ anywhere. I never feel more alive than when I’m practically dying for your touch.”

Pressing a kiss to Hanzo’s bare shoulder, Jesse continues, “I know what we’ve got here is casual. No feelings; that was the agreement going into this. But fuck, Hanzo, if you ever cried out for more, if you ever reached out for me, know that I’d run into the storm just to keep you here with me.”

Another kiss to Hanzo’s shoulder. “I didn’t realise until now that I was a lost cause. Thought I was gone beyond my years and that I’d wasted half my life. But you, I found it all in you. I don’t know if I saved you, Hanzo. But I know you saved me.” Jesse squeezes his eyes shut tight but they still prickle behind his eyelids. He takes a deep, steadying breath; a means to keep himself grounded as he makes his final plea: “Just tell me I am yours, cause you are mine.” A final soft kiss to Hanzo’s shoulder. Jesse’s lips flutter against Hanzo’s skin as he silently mouths, “I love you.”

Settling back down, Jesse inhales and exhales slowly, content with what he said. He repeats his words in his mind though, making sure he got everything off his chest. With a yawn, Jesse nods slowly and sleep finally wraps its arms around him. 

* * *

Hanzo braves opening his eyes, certain Jesse has finished speaking. 

He lets  _ all _ of Jesse’s words sink in, repeating them over and over. Everything Jesse had said rang surprisingly true for Hanzo, too. He felt incapable of receiving love given his past transgressions, and the reason  _ why _ he snapped at Jesse was because he felt the same way – that this has developed into something more than just casual sex. He has feelings for Jesse, and he was afraid that he would ruin the one truly good thing in his life right now by telling him how he felt.

Even though looking back on it now, he is lucky Jesse did not leave after what he said earlier in the evening. Jesse didn’t deserve the anger directed at him, and even though Jesse said he accepted the apology, Hanzo will make a means to apologise again.  

Hanzo takes a moment to gather his thoughts, to think of an appropriate reply to Jesse’s confession, but smiles when he hears the man behind him snore softly. 

What he has to say can wait until morning. Until then, he enjoys the warm embrace of his man and settles on four simple words:

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> My [Tumblr](https://chilliebean5.tumblr.com/). Stop by for a chat!


End file.
